Washington D.C. - Land of the Lost

Whether you take the title politically or literally, it pretty well sums up our day in the nation's capitol. Since, we figured it could be a while before we had the family out in that neck of the woods again so we better see the capitol. It was the perfect plan that didn't go so perfectly as you might have guessed if you've been reading this blog for longer than say, a day.

So, we thought that since I had a day or two before my conference started we would go touring as a family. We planned out our route through the capitol the night before, packed all the bags, got everybody in the car and got on our way. The first challenge: parking. After about 25 minutes of driving down one way streets with Katie looking over her shoulder across 3 lanes of traffic and yelling, "there's a free one!" we finally payed to park in a garage. After using the bathroom at a specialty wasabi salad cafe (really? specializing in wasabi salad?) we started our hike to the interesting stuff.

First stop, the White House, where they have the friendliest squirrels!


This part of the trip would have been perfect if it hadn't been for a handful of people waving VERY bloody "R" rated posters in front of our children yelling "President O#$%! you're our only hope!" Since we didn't have earplugs for the kids we explained to them that these people were yelling at the president to change his ways and start doing something positive. Luckily the kids didn't ask what that had to do with a bunch of bloody posters.

As we started to hit the ellipse and walk around the Mall the first seriously tragic realization of the day hit us: We had only brought snacks, absolutely no lunch, and there was NO place we could eat. Katie and I silently vowed that we would make it through all the monuments anyways.



Looking out from the Lincoln Memorial.

This picture is actually not only a great shot but really funny because Ben had gotten in some serious trouble not being as respectful of the memorial as we felt he should have been. So instead of the quietly contemplative teaching moment the picture seems to capture its actually me escorting a very furious Ben out of the memorial before he disturbed anybody else.

It just so happens that the two states we currently are tied to happen to be neighbors at the WWII memorial!

Katie didn't believe me that some people have complained that the Washington Monument is nothing more than a phallic symbol... that is until I explained to her what a phallic symbol is.
Believe it or not, we actually made it through the entire Mall without an existential hunger breakdown. We were close though. With not a second to spare we got to the car and found a Chili's in the GPS only a couple of miles away in Arlington. Unfortunately the GPS unit is smarter than we were. Instead of giving us the actual address of the restaurant it directed us to the parking garage you would have to park at for the restaurant. This unfortunately was 2 blocks away from the restaurant without ANY indication that the restaurant even existed in the local vicinity. Some frustration and a couple of hastled pedestrians later we finally found it. It was obviously meant to be since in the whole restaurant we got a booth with a picture of Christ visiting the Americas above us (no kidding). Who knew Chili's was so religious?

Since our bellies were now full, we decided we might risk one more stop before heading back to Virginia. Next stop: Arlington National Cemetery. Now, what was the only thing that could mar this sacred burial ground? The fact that Benjamin had about 5 soda refills at Chili's. That's right, about a 1/2 mile walk into the cemetery our 5 year old child clutches his crotch and announces to all the decorated dead that he had better find a bathroom fast or someones memory was about to be desecrated. Now of all the places we could possibly be this was really the ONE place where I could not tell him to just step behind a tree. So instead of that, several visitors acted disgusted as Ben and I made a mad sprint back to the visitors center with him periodically yelling the current position of acid and ammonia in his urinary track and whether or not pressure was increasing or stabilizing in his bladder. Luckily we made it back to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier just in time to not only see the changing of the guard but a wreath laying ceremony as well. Unfortunately, Andrew did not understand what manner of show this was, and decided that he had better provide the noise. It wasn't very sunny, but Katie sure looked sunburned as we retreated from the tomb....