Ruining Lives and Talking Racism

It's been a while since I've put up a post. So to let you know that I am still alive, that I do occasionally come home from work, and that I do spend a few precious moments with my children here are a few stories from the past month.

KALLIE
One Saturday it was time to do chores and get some yard work done. Kallie had gotten up and dressed herself very stylishly and then decided it was time to watch cartoons. I decided otherwise.
Me: Kallie, your chore is to go weed the garden with Ben.
Kallie: What?! Daaaaaaaaad, I can't get these clothes dirty!
Me: Go change into work clothes, you need to get going.
Kallie: I don't know what to wear!
Me: Go ask Mom what clothes you can put on to get dirty.

She stomped up the stairs. A few minutes later I went up to find something else when I ran into Katie.
Katie: What did you do to ruin her life?
Me: What?
Katie: Kallie came up here and said, "Dad's ruining my life!"
Me: Oh, dear.

Kallie came down stairs about 10 minutes later in different clothes with tears in her eyes and flung herself on the couch. "Dad, you really hurt my feelings!" she said her voice choked with sobs.
Me: What? How?
Kallie: When you told me to change into work clothes that REALLY hurt my feelings!

Then she burst into tears. I simply went and solicited Katie to handle the situation. I figured that was the safest thing to do. Give the girl an academy award.

BEN
I watched more soccer this world cup than I had ever previously watched, and since Ben thinks he wants to be a soccer player he started paying attention. During the beginning of the Uruguay vs. Ghana match we had a conversation that went like this:
Ben: Dad, how many teams are on the field?
Me: Two.
Ben: But what about the Black guys?
Me: What Black guys? (Not wanting to believe what I think I just heard)
Ben: The BLACK guys.
Me: They're on a team just like the white guys. There are only two teams.
Ben: And then there's the Black guys!
Me: There are only TWO teams red and blue. The black guys are on one of those teams JUST LIKE the white guys. (At this point I'm wondering how many white supremacist friends my kid found in kindergarten last year. He certainly didn't pick up these attitudes from us!)
Ben: Sure but what are the Black guys doing on the field?
Me: (starting to get angry) Ben! The Black guys are allowed to play soccer just like everybody else, they are on the red team!
Ben: But what about THIS GUY (He gets up, goes to the TV and points to the REF. Who while not a black person is dressed completely in BLACK).

I'm not sure I ever stopped laughing long enough to tell him what was going on, but I did feel quite a bit of relief to know I hadn't seriously screwed up my child's view of the world yet.

Andrew continues to destroy anything worth over $50 and constantly steals my car and lab keys.