This kid was in heaven! Then the checkout lady gave him TWO suckers. How much better can life get?!
Wednesday, March 9, 2016
Z approves of Ohio
I had to run to the market yesterday (which means following my phone map so I don't get turned around). We pull in and z bolts for this...
The temporary house
I was talking with my sister today and it dawned on me we haven't taken pictures of where we are in Ohio. So, mom, here you go!
Our townhome. We are on the side w the minivan.
The view of our backyard in the townhome. I feel naked without a fence in the backyard. I guess that the California coming out in me..,,
There are HUGE open green grassy areas everywhere! We have ponds, ducks, fish, and geese. It's quite the little zoo.
And so many sticks and trees...everywhere. The boys (and dandy) are in heaven.
And of course z always up with the latest fashion...
Good Morning
It has been a big adjustment for everyone having to leave the house at 7am...eastern time (instead of 8:45 am mountain time). The one who is having the hardest time is Z. He is used to sleeping for as long as he wants. The first few days I would just pick him up asleep and put him in the car. However, we just found out his class will start at 8:30 am...starting Monday. So he needs to really get up, eat, and get dressed before we leave. This morning was a practice run. He wakes up like this...
He finally heads downstairs for breakfast when I hear Ben saying good morning to him.
Ben: "good morning z!"
Z: "DONT TALK TO ME!!! I DONT WAMT ANYONE TO TALK TO ME!!!"
So far he's still not a morning person.
Sleep Talking
There's lots of things that have changed for us over the last month or two, but one of them is strange indeed. We're not sure if it's related to schedule, diet, or paranormal activity but the kids have been talking as much in their sleep as they have awake.
Now, we can honestly attest that there is never a peaceful moment.
It's not exactly out of the blue. The kids have always been caught mumbling things in their sleep. However, a new level was reached the other night when I could swear that Ben and Kallie had a short conversation in their sleep from their different rooms. It went something like this:
Ben: No! That's not the next one! Just let it play! Don't touch it!
Kallie: Why do you always get to choose! We're watching the iPad too! Ugh!
I should add that the conversations have alerted Katie and me to the fact that in the transition we may have allowed the kids to watch more TV via the internet than we usually do. ALL the sleep-talking centers around watching a TV show or Studio C skit. Except for Zack's.
Zack's comments normally fall along the lines of: I AM NOT LITTLE! I AM NOT A BABY! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!
He's the shortest person I know with a Napoleon complex. I'll let that sink in...
Andrew's comments tend to be giggling along with, "He was stupid," or, "that was dumb," or, "I'm pretty sure they just farted."
Kallie wins for longest outburst. She went off for a good 90 seconds just last night. Katie and I are also pretty sure she sleep-walked into our room the other night. She was just coherent enough to make it questionable however.
Combine all this with the "strange man" Ben keeps seeing in his room and Ohio can be downright spooky. Ben even dragged me outside barefoot in the rain to "see the man in his room that isn't there when [he is] in the room."
It was clearly a blanket laying off the side of the bed. So I told him to stay outside while I went into his room to see. I didn't turn the light on but I made sure to wave at him and move the blanket. Then I went down the stairs as he was coming up.
"Where were you?" I asked. "What? I saw you in the bedroom from outside," he said.
"Nope. I was using the bathroom. I just barely walked into your room and you weren't outside anymore."
He got this really wide-eyed scared look. That'll teach him to bug me about ghosts.
Now, we can honestly attest that there is never a peaceful moment.
It's not exactly out of the blue. The kids have always been caught mumbling things in their sleep. However, a new level was reached the other night when I could swear that Ben and Kallie had a short conversation in their sleep from their different rooms. It went something like this:
Ben: No! That's not the next one! Just let it play! Don't touch it!
Kallie: Why do you always get to choose! We're watching the iPad too! Ugh!
I should add that the conversations have alerted Katie and me to the fact that in the transition we may have allowed the kids to watch more TV via the internet than we usually do. ALL the sleep-talking centers around watching a TV show or Studio C skit. Except for Zack's.
Zack's comments normally fall along the lines of: I AM NOT LITTLE! I AM NOT A BABY! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!
He's the shortest person I know with a Napoleon complex. I'll let that sink in...
Andrew's comments tend to be giggling along with, "He was stupid," or, "that was dumb," or, "I'm pretty sure they just farted."
Kallie wins for longest outburst. She went off for a good 90 seconds just last night. Katie and I are also pretty sure she sleep-walked into our room the other night. She was just coherent enough to make it questionable however.
Combine all this with the "strange man" Ben keeps seeing in his room and Ohio can be downright spooky. Ben even dragged me outside barefoot in the rain to "see the man in his room that isn't there when [he is] in the room."
It was clearly a blanket laying off the side of the bed. So I told him to stay outside while I went into his room to see. I didn't turn the light on but I made sure to wave at him and move the blanket. Then I went down the stairs as he was coming up.
"Where were you?" I asked. "What? I saw you in the bedroom from outside," he said.
"Nope. I was using the bathroom. I just barely walked into your room and you weren't outside anymore."
He got this really wide-eyed scared look. That'll teach him to bug me about ghosts.
Sunday, March 6, 2016
Blog Erickson: A Renewed Assault on Our Family History
INTRODUCTION
Alright, so this blog has, in fact, fallen into disrepair. It's been used here and there to note a couple of things and post a couple of pictures. Occasionally, it serves as a travelogue when I (Dad) am away from the family for an extended time.
But now, it's here to call your bluff. Yep, when we left New Mexico 2 weeks ago everybody was like, "we need to keep in touch," and, "we're really going to miss you and want to know what your up to." You know, the sappy stuff that people say whenever ANYBODY leaves.
Thanks to the age of instant information we can not only ensure that you can keep up on us, but we can also track who is and who isn't keeping up on us. That's right. Our friendship just got a little awkward.
Also, it's time we started better documenting the family history that we are currently making. This is for our children and grandchildren and so on, and mostly in case one of us becomes famous. No one wants to find themselves instantly famous and in the position of having to make up their past for everyone to read. It's so much easier if you've already made it up as you go along.
LAYOUT
You'll have noticed by now that this particular post is divided into sections. That should be your first clue to stop reading and save yourself a lot of time. But in the event that you're one of our less intelligent friends, family, or progeny and you intend to read the entire thing, I'll explain why.
Basically, we are at the point of starting a momentous and tremendously adventurous time in our family and it just feels right to kick that off with a great backstory. This post will explain how we got from New Mexico to Ohio and why, and it will document our adventures moving forward. We expect life to be fast paced and interesting for at least the next 4 years. So buckle your seat belt, focus on the road, and read the rest of this when you get safely home.
Also, because this post will be rather long I will be writing most of it rather fast and sloppy. So expect lots of speling errors and grammatical.
LIFE IN THE SOUTHWEST
Dry. Not particularly hot, but dry. And good. Life was SOOOOOO good for us in the southwest. Good enough to make you wonder why we would even consider moving. I was moving into some rewarding and fun positions and assignments at work, the kids loved their friends and their extracurricular things, and Katie had wonderful friends along with her business and her beautiful house.
It was really quite idyllic from a suburban family standpoint. I reffed the kids soccer games and led Ben's Boy Scout age group. The kids had their hands in everything from sports, to music, to driving us nuts. Ben and Kallie were even learning the same instrument (flute) and practicing together. Katie almost had her backyard finished and her worst complaint was that her other friends tended to move out of state.
Katie and I would look at each other at the end of almost everyday with an exhilarated air and feel like we were killing it at doing the life thing. I suppose that should have been the first inkling that things were poised for change.
GOOD ADVICE... MAYBE
Many of you probably know that we moved because I took a new position inside AFRL but at a different Air Force Base. Fewer of you know the story behind that. I am (or was) a bench scientist. That means that I'm supposed to be sitting on a bench doing actual science. By the time last year rolled around, the most time I spent in the lab was walking through it to get to the hallway on the other side.
That's because things were exploding at work (not literally, unfortunately.) We launched a major initiative to put atomic clocks on an experimental satellite... and won. By the time the dust settled I was principle investigator for the satellite atomic clocks and I was spending 1/4 time advising DARPA and Small Business programs and 1/4 of my time involved in another project with the UK. It was a great year despite the amount of travel involved.
Also, I should point out that I'm not particularly great or anything. I just happened to be hanging around the wrong meetings at the wrong time and volunteering for things that I had no idea of what they would involve. My professional life feels a bit like a Charlie Chaplin movie where everything turns out okay despite the fact that I keep bumping into everything.
In the midst of this, my program manager gives me some off the cuff advice. He said, "you should practice applying for positions in AFRL because the process is a little unique." {Aside: no quotes in this post are verbatim.}The idea was not to actually get another job but just to be ready if one came along that I really wanted to shoot for.
So, in practice this actually limits you to applying for jobs you really want to shoot for. You don't want to burn any bridges by saying, "no sir, I don't actually want your crappy job. I was just practicing."
A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY
It just so happened that a month or so later AFRL Headquarters sent out a solicitation for a job. I just BARELY met the minimum certifications, experience, and requirements. It was a position that intrigued me then (and excites me now.) It was the perfect practice opportunity - there was no way I'd get picked up for it.
On top of that, the week that applications were due our house flooded. I believe that is actually covered in a short previous post if you're not aware of the story. I didn't send in my resume. Instead, I ripped baseboard out of my house and walked around summing the cost of each blower and dehumidifier. I never thought I'd need a dehumidifier (much less 15 industrial ones) in New Mexico. Go figure. {Aside: also, exact numbers given in this post should not be trusted. 84.36% of them are close but wrong.}
A week later I was catching back up on things at work and noticed the job announcement I had marked. I sent it in anyways. To which I received a curt reply, "We don't accept late resumes, but I'll check..." Then radio silence.
Almost a month later I received an email stating that video teleconference interviews were to be held in 2 days. The only problem was that I was in the middle of a 2 week trip in the UK. I informed them of my intent to miss the interviews. I received no reply.
Two days back at work I received another note that I would have a video teleconference interview in two days. "Great," I said. Then I went home to find Katie and the kids projectile vomiting. I almost booked a hotel.
While I was on sick leave for the next day and a half wiping up bile, the headquarters group was trying to set up the teleconference. Somehow, they thought one of our contractors was actually a secretary and started sending him all sorts of stuff to set up my interview - that I hadn't told anyone about. Heh heh, oops.
I made it in barely in time for the interview feeling tired and a little cranky. Despite this I tried not to grill my interviewers too hard. I know it's suppose to be the other way around, but whatever, I wasn't getting the job right?
Well, if I didn't think I was getting it then, that was certainly sealed when 10 minutes before the end of the interview a group of other people in the building waltzed into the room. I informed them that I was finishing a job interview. They said I should go ahead and that it didn't bother them. And then they sat down ON SCREEN while I finished my interview.
They were there to use the projector for watching Star Trek. I kid you not. (Insert your favorite "misuse of taxpayer dollars" joke here.) (If the first joke is just average, insert your favorite "scientists have no social/emotional intelligence" here.)
PREMONITIONS
I left the interview and didn't give it another thought. After all that had gone on through applying for the position, clearly I did not expect to hear from these people again. Yet, for some reason, two days later it popped back in my head. And I realized something.
Now, most of you know that we are a family of faith. We believe in directly communicating with God in prayer and expect God to communicate back with us. It is a process that has guided us in every major life decision and through several terrible and wonderful times. And it occurred to me that even though I wasn't expecting to get this job, it represented a potential major life altering event for my family. Maybe, just maybe, I should pray about it.
That's when my stomach dropped, because if I was feeling inspired to pray about it that could really only be for one reason. When I stood back up, I knew I would be offered the job. Despite everything that had gone wrong, despite not really being qualified for it, despite all indicators, it would come our way and it would be the right decision for our family.
Because I'm spiritual but not particularly great at it, I kept verbally affirming in conversation that nothing would come of it. I did tip off Katie, however. She reminded me that I had told her it was just a practice interview. I guess it's fair to say that above all people she should know not to take me at face value.
OHIO, UK?
So we are in Ohio, but most of you will recall that my children went around telling everybody we were moving to England. Andrew even wrote an essay about it in school and he doesn't even know where it is.
That's because while I was on that trip to the UK I called home one day to check in on the family. I was informed that they had taken a vote and they all wanted to try living overseas. I reminded them that I hadn't voted. They said it didn't matter because it was unanimous for the rest of the family. *Sigh*
So, we put together an application to live in England for two years. This happened all roughly around the same time as the job application and acceptance for my position in Ohio. Needless to say, it initially created some confusion for the kids.
All said and done, the grand plan is to spend a year and a half to two in Ohio and then two years overseas. We'll know about the overseas part for sure within a month or two.
BUCKET LISTS
As soon as we knew we were leaving, we started on our New Mexico bucket list. It was time to tick off all the things in NM we wanted to see before leaving. This is not as easy as you'd think in a state that takes 5 hours to drive across in any direction. Thankfully, we'd already seen a lot.
The first was a hot air balloon ride. Despite seeing hot air balloons in the sky almost everyday for 4 years, we had not been up in one. Thankfully Capt. Jason Gabriel not only worked in the same group as me, but he owns and operates his own hot air balloon. And it just happens to be one of the most iconic balloons in the ABQ sky: The Spirit of 76.
There is nothing I know of that I can compare air balloon flight to. It is awesome. If you haven't done it because you think it's too pricey - you're wrong. It's worth it.
CARLSBAD CAVERNS
Next we did a triangle down through Roswell to Carlsbad Caverns, across through Cloudcroft to White Sands, and then back up. I don't believe anyone ever really did road-tripping until the existence of the TV endowed minivan.
We pulled into Carlsbad at night needing a place to eat dinner. Well, bustling metropolis that it was, everything had either decided to not open that day or closed by 7 PM. Except a handful of fast food places and a French Restaurant. Feeling adventurous, we tried the French place. We pulled into the parking lot. It was clear through the windows that it was a REALLY NICE French place. We looked back over our shoulders to see the kids in all out warfare - not even aware the van had stopped. We went to KFC.
As luck would have it, the elevator at the caverns was out of commission. The velocity governor on the stupid thing had broken. I told them that type of ride was right up our alley. They didn't think that was funny. So, with a 4 year old in tow we walked the entire cave. That's right. Four miles total with about half of that distance across a 750 foot vertical. Beat that suckers.
We've found that the secret is not to tell the kids what really lies ahead of them. As long as we present things as normal and doable, they just seem to go along. I imagine my kids reading these stories someday and contemplating whether charges should have been filed against us. If they're doing that though, I imagine they'll also be able to tell how good they had it as kids.
WHITE SANDS
From Carlsbad we drove through Cloudcroft to White Sands. Frankly, Cloudcroft is overrated. Picture every cabin dotted mid-level ski area you've ever been too. The only thing unique about it is that it happens to be in Southern New Mexico - exactly where you wouldn't expect to find such a place.
The one cool thing about that route is the geology driving west out of Cloudcroft. I'm not a geologist, but I'm fascinated by the earth and its processes. Little did I know that the cliff and stone formations I was mesmerized by were actually the source for the White Sands dunes.
Water running out of the mountain dissolves gypsum from the rock and deposits it in a seasonal lake on the valley floor. When the lake dries the gypsum crystalizes, breaks off, and is carried and broken by the wind until it forms the dunes to the north. Some of the dunes move as far as 15 ft in a year!
Since the dunes are gypsum and not silica, the grain is super fine and it doesn't stick to you. We could have spent days sledding down the dunes. The most spectacular part however was watching the sun set from one of the tallest dunes. As the sun draws even with the hills on the west of the valley it directly lights up the cliffs on the east side of the valley. The changing hues of sunlight combined with the natural color of the rock is one of the best light shows I've witnessed in my life.
Just in case this all sounds like a very perfect family moment, I'll share with you that we constantly had to keep the kids from whacking each other with sticks, bringing sticks in the car, deterring them from buying useless crap in gift shops, and in general protecting other tourists from them. So actually, yeah. It was a very perfect family moment. Oh, and if you go there within the next month or so you might still see our names etched very deeply into some of the hardest sand before the wind carries it away.
SANDIA TRAM
We'd already done the Sandia Tram, but we'd never done it with visitors. Right before we left we received our only out of state visitors since the second year we'd lived in New Mexico. Ahma and Aunt Joy payed us a very special and eagerly anticipated visit.
The Sandia Tram, for those of you who don't know, is the longest tram in the world. It also has the distinction of hosting a crappy, overpriced restaurant on each end. Okay, so that's debatable, but when you name a restaurant "High Finance" it kind of gives it "High Expectations," and not just for the billing portion of the experience.
We also took them to Little Anita's, our favorite New Mexican restaurant. I'd tell all you non-burquenos about New Mexican restaurants, but that really is its own separate post.
EL PASO
What's better than a city where you can wake up and look at Juarez, Mexico from your balcony every morning? Exactly. Unless your name is Katie and Bobby Bones and the Raging Idiots are playing there. Then it suddenly sounds like the perfect Valentine's Weekend retreat location.
We found arrangements for all the kids this time without having to force the issue and made it to El Paso in time for some excellent Mexican food right on the border. We even got treated to a professional Mariachi band that someone had hired to serenade a birthday party there.
Just because a restaurant hires a Mariachi does not make them professional. Professional ones are too expensive and rare to regularly play restaurants and they are awesome. For the first time in my life I could A: understand the words and B: enjoy the music. I'm pretty sure it was a singular experience.
Later that evening we were entertained by Mr. Bobby Bones. Who, as far as I can tell, is a genius for somehow leveraging his radio jock position into selling out venues for a mediocre garage band. Everybody feels good about it because he donates the profits to St. Jude's, but still. Imagine a 90's era Adam Sandler routine (but clean) blended with a Weird Al Yankovich take on things and you're most the way there. Add bad singing and you've got it.
The next morning, as we were set to pull out of El Paso we got some information from our real estate agent in Ohio. This sent us into a super-focused deep discussion on options and action plans. Eventually, Katie got tired and said she was going to take a nap. 20 minutes later I passed a sign welcoming us to ARIZONA.
For the geographically challenged, I'll point out that Arizona is not on the way between El Paso and Albuquerque. We were suddenly as far away from home as when we started, but having traveled nearly long enough to get home. For the geometrically challenged, this makes an equilateral triangle. The linguistically challenged gave up reading this paragraph at the beginning.
I have never been so far away from where I thought I was as at that moment. It was as close to an out of body experience as I've had.
HATCH, NM
Our "little" error did have one silver lining. It allowed us to drive through and eat in Hatch, NM, which was not on the original agenda. NM is known for it's green chili. They come from Hatch. If you are going to ever see anything that is quintessentially New Mexican, it is Hatch, NM. We ate at a hole in the wall diner there (actually, I think that's all they have) that served imported chili's from Oregon. Just kidding. That's a crime worthy of death anywhere in NM.
HOUSE HUNTING
Nothing kicks off pandemonium like military orders with a short time scale. Even though I'm a civilian employee, orders get generated when you move around the Air Force. Our orders to move came 3.5 weeks prior to moving, but I was traveling for work and so couldn't do anything about them until about 3 weeks prior to moving.
That meant that I was immediately on another trip, but this time to find a place to live. We tried to rig things so that Katie could come with me, but it just wasn't going to work out. We got so desperate I was starting to ask coworkers to watch my kids. That's when I realized that we were forcing the issue to level ridiculous.
So I spent a week looking at just about every single available home in the Beavercreek area. I'm surprised the realtor still talks to me.
When we set about looking for a home there were a few criteria: it had to be easily rentable, it had to be within a short commute of work, it had to be turnkey, and it had to need no foreseeable projects.
The last morning of my trip Kate sends me over to a foreclosure that had just posted that morning. I told her it wasn't turnkey. That didn't matter anymore. I told her there were a lot of immediate and long term projects. So naturally, we put an offer on it.
Since it was a foreclosure, the bank sat and collected offers for a couple of days and then gave everyone a chance to modify their offer. Well, I calculated what I though the home was worth and gave myself a generous margin for the work that I'd do on it and then sent that in assuming we'd still be looking for a house.
Well, nothing makes you feel like you've overpaid like winning a silent auction. Somehow, our offer was accepted. The other bidders must have been REALLY low-balling the bank. Apparently, I need to work on my game. We expect to close by the end of this month. Now, if only I could make that happen on the NM home... The sale, not the low-balling, of course.
WE LOSE A TON OF WEIGHT
Everybody wants to look good when they have a chance to start their social lives over right? Well, not us. Call it the stress of the move, or the side effects of eating the easiest crap lying around because you're busy as all get out, but we started packing it on. Our goal was to still be able to hug each other by the end of it.
BUT, if you include all of our possessions as part of ourselves. WE LOST A TON OF WEIGHT. We sold, donated, threw away, and forced on people all of the possessions that we could. I tracked
it. It was over 2,000 lbs. of stuff. I think I'll have another Twinkie...
THE HOUSE GETS PACKED
I don't think it really sunk in to anybody in the family that we were moving until the packers showed up to the house 4 days prior to taking off. Nothing puts it in perspective like having 75% of your stuff packed up in about 5 hours. We sent the kids to school and when they came home their stuff was gone. It gave me a lot of ideas about parenting in the future.
I'd heard stories about these packer guys. People told me they would pack your trash can with trash still in it. Someone else told me about how a cat had gotten boxed up with a bunch of clothes. When I watched them work I believed all of it.
By the way, it is awesome. Nothing beats having someone else move you. I have to say this now before all of our stuff gets delivered and we find out that most of it is lost or broken.
MOVING DAY
The moving truck came on a Friday. The plan was to have them pack up the whole house and then take off on one more NM bucklist adventure on the way out of town.
The moving truck guys were a lot more personable and a lot less quick than the packing people. If they moved at the same pace as the packers, I'm pretty sure they could of loaded the whole thing in about 6 hours. The kids were still in school for their very last day, which kept things moving pretty smoothly for the first part of it.
Once the kids got home, it quickly became obvious that they were going to slow up the moving guys even more. This is where dad skills kicked in: McDonald's followed by a relatively late movie. Katie stayed behind to supervise the end off the packing and regain some sanity.
A DEATH IN THE FAMILY
During the movie, Katie called me. Silly lady, she knew we were in a movie. Then, she kept calling. I knew something was up. Since we were in the very back row of the dollar theater watching a B-level animated flick, I risked answering the phone in the theater. Also, I had a sleeping 4 year old on my chest and when I'm tired and stressed I'm the kind of jerk that gets a little less considerate of everybody around me if it's personally convenient.
Katie was incoherent. It took several minutes to understand what she was trying to say, "Coco is dead!" she finally got out in a phrase I could comprehend. I pulled the kids from the movie. This was infinitely more disruptive than answering my phone had been. The movie had finally been able to put together a climax and the kids did not understand why we were going.
Before the engine had even began to warm the kids were all balling. To be honest, Coco had been a stupid hard dog for our family. It had taken a lot of work to get her to the point where she was bearable. But she was PART OF OUR FAMILY regardless.
The chocolate lab had originally belonged to a childhood friend of mine. He had started training her to not be gun-shy when his ex-wife left him while he was on an extended work trip. As she parted, she locked the dog in the backyard with enough food and water for a day or two. The dog was in the yard two weeks.
It's amazing that the dog had lived. Since she was still a puppy, Coco developed severe anxieties and neurosis from that experience. On top of that, my friend clung to her for companionship without continuing any of her training or obedience structuring. No one can fault him for that and it made for a hard dog.
When we took over care of Coco, I frankly didn't know how long that would last. It is a testament to my wife that she put in the time and put up the patience that dog required to become a family dog.
One of the things that Coco always had was an extremely developed sense that the entire family was about to go somewhere without her. With stuff disappearing from the house right and left and strange people walking all around her anxieties were in full swing.
Another thing we could never break her of was a fear of starving. If there was food she would do anything and everything to get it and finish it, even at her own peril. In the midst of cleaning out hearth and home, Coco had managed to snag a gallon sized bag of food and hide it somewhere without being noticed.
About 1/2 hour after the truck had left and everything was wound down, she went and found it. She suffocated trying to stick her head as far into the bag as she could to gulp down the last morsel of food. It was tragic in every sense of the word.
To make things worse, there was nothing I could even really do for her at this point with all of our stuff gone. I called animal control in case they happened to have an after hours service. Their voice message said to call the police if they were closed and you needed help.
Now in my clearer state of mind I would never have called the police. Frankly, they are not there to help you. Not only will they not help you, but they will likely complicate the situation for you. I don't have anything against police, I respect them and what they do, and I have family members who are police. But in my experience, as a law abiding middle-class American citizen you should never call the police for anything other than an obvious crime against yourself. Even then you should think about it. Out of my handful of experiences at best the interaction is neutral, but never positive.
The second I hung up with the police I realized my mistake. They weren't coming to help me, they were coming to investigate potential animal cruelty. Well, that just does wonders for the situation, doesn't it? So I wrapped Coco in her favorite blanket and set her in the garage. The police, true to their reputation, showed up and did their investigation without anything helpful to offer the situation.
ADD ONE TO THE BUCKETLIST
Our out of town plans were quickly changed up to drop the Rio Grande Gorge and add a funeral. Yes, I realize the irony that was created by re-invoking the bucket list. And now I've made sure that you realized it too.
Thankfully, we have some real fantastic friends who offered to let us bury Coco on their land. In fact, the Squires are so awesome that they had already dug the grave for me. We really miss our NM friends.
For those of you who don't know the broader Erickson clan, funerals tend to be something of a party. We're all such kooky people that you simply can't put a bunch of us in a room with one of our dead relatives and not have every crazy story you've ever heard repeated. It ends up being a laughing-out-loud while we're crying type of affair.
In that fashion we buried Coco. Telling the funniest stories we could think of about her - and there are a lot. Andrew will never be able to poop outside again because of that dog. Just ask him about it.
Then we set off 20 year old fireworks. I'd found them while we were throwing out the garage. With my inherent pyro-mania it's amazing they lasted a day much less years. Coco would have hated it. That's why I did it. After all the things she did that I hated, I pretty much felt justified in that. It somehow brought closure to it for me.
HELL IS AMARILLO
Well, maybe not, but they both have two "L's." I've never liked the place after having driven through once before on my way to college. This time didn't improve my impression of it. But that's where we were able to make it to the first night. Because of the unexpected death we were suddenly driving across the country by the seat of our pants with no foreordained stops, rests, or lodging.
It actually worked out incredibly well. So well that I would never chance it again.
KANSAS CITY
Amazingly enough, the edge of the great plains is actually in New Mexico. This means that there's actually nothing of interest to see until you start approaching the mid region of the country. We booked it as far as we could the second day of travel and made water in Kansas City.
The hotel was right across the street from the dual stadium parks for the Royals and the Chiefs. And it was empty. In the midst of this trip, we inadvertently discovered the awesomeness of being winter road warriors. For the rest of the trip everything we did and saw was catered solely to us. It was awesome. We might not go on a summer family vacation from here on out.
All of our family moments will be pictures of winter. We'll have the run of everywhere we go.
LIBERTY JAIL and INDEPENDENCE, MO
For those who don't know, we belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In more colloquial (and shorter) language, we're Mormons. This gives us the unique distinction of having most of our church history in the US.
Everybody knows the Mormons are in Utah. You should also know that they got there because they were harassed and accosted across most of the existing US to the point where they decided to become the pioneers and strike out for unincorporated territory. It's a sad and inspiring story with lots of personal accounts preserved from journals if that sort of history interests you.
This move gave us the opportunity to retrace a lot of the movement in reverse. I'll spare recounting Church history here, but Liberty and Independence, MO are two of the sites of interest that we were able to visit.
NAUVOO, IL
After hitting up some history in MO, we made it into Nauvoo, IL the following day. A surprisingly large number of the original brick structures are still there and much of the original town as it was in the 1800's has been restored or preserved.
We saw lots of really cool demonstrations about how people drained the land, lived there, and how to make stuff from raw materials. We also saw the home and shop of Jonathan Browning - the originator of the Browning gun legacy. That's right, just about every modern firearm is thanks to a Mormon.
The kids were particularly excited about getting their own Prairie Diamond and a brick made out of the IL clay. Nauvoo is the last Mormon settlement before the Saints went west to the Salt Lake Valley and it is the final resting place of the Prophet Joseph Smith.
HANNIBAL, MO
Katie was a little afraid of the place because it shares a name with Hannibal Lecter. I think pretending I was going to eat her only made it worse. I guess some things just aren't funny to everybody.
We figured we would slip in some US history on the drive across and visited the boyhood home of Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens for you educated folk.) We also went through the Hannibal Cave - a prominent features of his most beloved stories.
The best part about Hannibal is that our network offered zero cell signal there. It also has a perceived feeling in the air that essentially amounts to an IQ drop. It's hard not to meet people there and automatically assign them a 50 point intelligence handicap. All of this combined with Katie's exhaustion to make her feel like she was in the middle of nowhere without the normal services of civilization. Also, she was a little cranky.
AND she really wanted Dairy Queen. All I heard about for around 1/2 hour was how we'd be okay if we'd stopped in Quincy. Finally, I pulled up a DQ down the road on my maps. Peaceful feelings ensued for the night.
Sometimes I worry that my spouse will read these stories and consider filing for divorce. But she would be wise to heed my warning about dealing with legal authorities, and I imagine she also knows how good she has it. ;) Right honey? Honey..?
MONTICELLO, IL
From there we made it to Monticello, IL. Not because that sounded like a good idea. Well, I guess it did sound like a good idea when you factor in the snow storm. We pulled off the road in Decatur (di-ˈkā-tər) but couldn't find a hotel that took pets. The Best Western in Monticello sounded perfect and was the next closest hotel. It had a pool and it took pets.
Except that in a snow storm it almost had a good setting for Norman Bates. The elevator had no lights, the pool was closed, and half the hotel looked like it was under renovations that weren't going to happen any time soon. On the flip side, I met an awesome teenager at the Pizza Hut there who was sarcastic and witty and new about bands from the 80's and 70's. He totally restored my faith in today's youth. You know, the people who would not be voting for Trump if they could vote. Maybe we should lower the voting age...
OHIO
The next day we made it to Ohio. This would have been a good thing if Katie and I had communicated with each other about where in Ohio we were going. I thought we would be going to where we would be sleeping that night. It made sense. Katie thought we would go to the house we were buying.
This turned out to be a good idea until she started thinking that maybe she didn't want to buy that house. Luckily, by the time we left she wanted to buy it again. Let's hope it stays that way at this point.
We went out to a Mexican restaurant and to Walmart to buy air mattresses and to bed. All in all, life seemed pretty good again.
FIRST DAY OF WORK
Until my first day of work. Which was the next day. Which was when the food poisoning from the Mexican restaurant kicked in. Luckily, when you start a new job at a new Air Force Base you have a long checklist of things that you have to go around doing on your own. This affords you the convenience of spending as much time in the bathroom as you want to. That's all I'm going to say about that.
LIFE GOES ON
So, now we're here. We're more or less settling into a routine. The kids are in school, our stuff is in storage, and our home is set to close. I now commit to updating this blog at least once weekly. We have an Ohio bucket list and a lot of hopes and dreams so the stories should be good. I promise to keep them all much shorter than this. Over and out. Or whatever you say to end a post. It's awkward to end something that is obviously intended to continue later. Right?
Alright, so this blog has, in fact, fallen into disrepair. It's been used here and there to note a couple of things and post a couple of pictures. Occasionally, it serves as a travelogue when I (Dad) am away from the family for an extended time.
But now, it's here to call your bluff. Yep, when we left New Mexico 2 weeks ago everybody was like, "we need to keep in touch," and, "we're really going to miss you and want to know what your up to." You know, the sappy stuff that people say whenever ANYBODY leaves.
Thanks to the age of instant information we can not only ensure that you can keep up on us, but we can also track who is and who isn't keeping up on us. That's right. Our friendship just got a little awkward.
Also, it's time we started better documenting the family history that we are currently making. This is for our children and grandchildren and so on, and mostly in case one of us becomes famous. No one wants to find themselves instantly famous and in the position of having to make up their past for everyone to read. It's so much easier if you've already made it up as you go along.
LAYOUT
You'll have noticed by now that this particular post is divided into sections. That should be your first clue to stop reading and save yourself a lot of time. But in the event that you're one of our less intelligent friends, family, or progeny and you intend to read the entire thing, I'll explain why.
Basically, we are at the point of starting a momentous and tremendously adventurous time in our family and it just feels right to kick that off with a great backstory. This post will explain how we got from New Mexico to Ohio and why, and it will document our adventures moving forward. We expect life to be fast paced and interesting for at least the next 4 years. So buckle your seat belt, focus on the road, and read the rest of this when you get safely home.
Also, because this post will be rather long I will be writing most of it rather fast and sloppy. So expect lots of speling errors and grammatical.
LIFE IN THE SOUTHWEST
Dry. Not particularly hot, but dry. And good. Life was SOOOOOO good for us in the southwest. Good enough to make you wonder why we would even consider moving. I was moving into some rewarding and fun positions and assignments at work, the kids loved their friends and their extracurricular things, and Katie had wonderful friends along with her business and her beautiful house.
It was really quite idyllic from a suburban family standpoint. I reffed the kids soccer games and led Ben's Boy Scout age group. The kids had their hands in everything from sports, to music, to driving us nuts. Ben and Kallie were even learning the same instrument (flute) and practicing together. Katie almost had her backyard finished and her worst complaint was that her other friends tended to move out of state.
Katie and I would look at each other at the end of almost everyday with an exhilarated air and feel like we were killing it at doing the life thing. I suppose that should have been the first inkling that things were poised for change.
GOOD ADVICE... MAYBE
Many of you probably know that we moved because I took a new position inside AFRL but at a different Air Force Base. Fewer of you know the story behind that. I am (or was) a bench scientist. That means that I'm supposed to be sitting on a bench doing actual science. By the time last year rolled around, the most time I spent in the lab was walking through it to get to the hallway on the other side.
That's because things were exploding at work (not literally, unfortunately.) We launched a major initiative to put atomic clocks on an experimental satellite... and won. By the time the dust settled I was principle investigator for the satellite atomic clocks and I was spending 1/4 time advising DARPA and Small Business programs and 1/4 of my time involved in another project with the UK. It was a great year despite the amount of travel involved.
Also, I should point out that I'm not particularly great or anything. I just happened to be hanging around the wrong meetings at the wrong time and volunteering for things that I had no idea of what they would involve. My professional life feels a bit like a Charlie Chaplin movie where everything turns out okay despite the fact that I keep bumping into everything.
In the midst of this, my program manager gives me some off the cuff advice. He said, "you should practice applying for positions in AFRL because the process is a little unique." {Aside: no quotes in this post are verbatim.}The idea was not to actually get another job but just to be ready if one came along that I really wanted to shoot for.
So, in practice this actually limits you to applying for jobs you really want to shoot for. You don't want to burn any bridges by saying, "no sir, I don't actually want your crappy job. I was just practicing."
A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY
It just so happened that a month or so later AFRL Headquarters sent out a solicitation for a job. I just BARELY met the minimum certifications, experience, and requirements. It was a position that intrigued me then (and excites me now.) It was the perfect practice opportunity - there was no way I'd get picked up for it.
On top of that, the week that applications were due our house flooded. I believe that is actually covered in a short previous post if you're not aware of the story. I didn't send in my resume. Instead, I ripped baseboard out of my house and walked around summing the cost of each blower and dehumidifier. I never thought I'd need a dehumidifier (much less 15 industrial ones) in New Mexico. Go figure. {Aside: also, exact numbers given in this post should not be trusted. 84.36% of them are close but wrong.}
A week later I was catching back up on things at work and noticed the job announcement I had marked. I sent it in anyways. To which I received a curt reply, "We don't accept late resumes, but I'll check..." Then radio silence.
Almost a month later I received an email stating that video teleconference interviews were to be held in 2 days. The only problem was that I was in the middle of a 2 week trip in the UK. I informed them of my intent to miss the interviews. I received no reply.
Two days back at work I received another note that I would have a video teleconference interview in two days. "Great," I said. Then I went home to find Katie and the kids projectile vomiting. I almost booked a hotel.
While I was on sick leave for the next day and a half wiping up bile, the headquarters group was trying to set up the teleconference. Somehow, they thought one of our contractors was actually a secretary and started sending him all sorts of stuff to set up my interview - that I hadn't told anyone about. Heh heh, oops.
I made it in barely in time for the interview feeling tired and a little cranky. Despite this I tried not to grill my interviewers too hard. I know it's suppose to be the other way around, but whatever, I wasn't getting the job right?
Well, if I didn't think I was getting it then, that was certainly sealed when 10 minutes before the end of the interview a group of other people in the building waltzed into the room. I informed them that I was finishing a job interview. They said I should go ahead and that it didn't bother them. And then they sat down ON SCREEN while I finished my interview.
They were there to use the projector for watching Star Trek. I kid you not. (Insert your favorite "misuse of taxpayer dollars" joke here.) (If the first joke is just average, insert your favorite "scientists have no social/emotional intelligence" here.)
PREMONITIONS
I left the interview and didn't give it another thought. After all that had gone on through applying for the position, clearly I did not expect to hear from these people again. Yet, for some reason, two days later it popped back in my head. And I realized something.
Now, most of you know that we are a family of faith. We believe in directly communicating with God in prayer and expect God to communicate back with us. It is a process that has guided us in every major life decision and through several terrible and wonderful times. And it occurred to me that even though I wasn't expecting to get this job, it represented a potential major life altering event for my family. Maybe, just maybe, I should pray about it.
That's when my stomach dropped, because if I was feeling inspired to pray about it that could really only be for one reason. When I stood back up, I knew I would be offered the job. Despite everything that had gone wrong, despite not really being qualified for it, despite all indicators, it would come our way and it would be the right decision for our family.
Because I'm spiritual but not particularly great at it, I kept verbally affirming in conversation that nothing would come of it. I did tip off Katie, however. She reminded me that I had told her it was just a practice interview. I guess it's fair to say that above all people she should know not to take me at face value.
OHIO, UK?
So we are in Ohio, but most of you will recall that my children went around telling everybody we were moving to England. Andrew even wrote an essay about it in school and he doesn't even know where it is.
That's because while I was on that trip to the UK I called home one day to check in on the family. I was informed that they had taken a vote and they all wanted to try living overseas. I reminded them that I hadn't voted. They said it didn't matter because it was unanimous for the rest of the family. *Sigh*
So, we put together an application to live in England for two years. This happened all roughly around the same time as the job application and acceptance for my position in Ohio. Needless to say, it initially created some confusion for the kids.
All said and done, the grand plan is to spend a year and a half to two in Ohio and then two years overseas. We'll know about the overseas part for sure within a month or two.
BUCKET LISTS
As soon as we knew we were leaving, we started on our New Mexico bucket list. It was time to tick off all the things in NM we wanted to see before leaving. This is not as easy as you'd think in a state that takes 5 hours to drive across in any direction. Thankfully, we'd already seen a lot.
The first was a hot air balloon ride. Despite seeing hot air balloons in the sky almost everyday for 4 years, we had not been up in one. Thankfully Capt. Jason Gabriel not only worked in the same group as me, but he owns and operates his own hot air balloon. And it just happens to be one of the most iconic balloons in the ABQ sky: The Spirit of 76.
There is nothing I know of that I can compare air balloon flight to. It is awesome. If you haven't done it because you think it's too pricey - you're wrong. It's worth it.
CARLSBAD CAVERNS
Next we did a triangle down through Roswell to Carlsbad Caverns, across through Cloudcroft to White Sands, and then back up. I don't believe anyone ever really did road-tripping until the existence of the TV endowed minivan.
We pulled into Carlsbad at night needing a place to eat dinner. Well, bustling metropolis that it was, everything had either decided to not open that day or closed by 7 PM. Except a handful of fast food places and a French Restaurant. Feeling adventurous, we tried the French place. We pulled into the parking lot. It was clear through the windows that it was a REALLY NICE French place. We looked back over our shoulders to see the kids in all out warfare - not even aware the van had stopped. We went to KFC.
As luck would have it, the elevator at the caverns was out of commission. The velocity governor on the stupid thing had broken. I told them that type of ride was right up our alley. They didn't think that was funny. So, with a 4 year old in tow we walked the entire cave. That's right. Four miles total with about half of that distance across a 750 foot vertical. Beat that suckers.
We've found that the secret is not to tell the kids what really lies ahead of them. As long as we present things as normal and doable, they just seem to go along. I imagine my kids reading these stories someday and contemplating whether charges should have been filed against us. If they're doing that though, I imagine they'll also be able to tell how good they had it as kids.
WHITE SANDS
From Carlsbad we drove through Cloudcroft to White Sands. Frankly, Cloudcroft is overrated. Picture every cabin dotted mid-level ski area you've ever been too. The only thing unique about it is that it happens to be in Southern New Mexico - exactly where you wouldn't expect to find such a place.
The one cool thing about that route is the geology driving west out of Cloudcroft. I'm not a geologist, but I'm fascinated by the earth and its processes. Little did I know that the cliff and stone formations I was mesmerized by were actually the source for the White Sands dunes.
Water running out of the mountain dissolves gypsum from the rock and deposits it in a seasonal lake on the valley floor. When the lake dries the gypsum crystalizes, breaks off, and is carried and broken by the wind until it forms the dunes to the north. Some of the dunes move as far as 15 ft in a year!
Since the dunes are gypsum and not silica, the grain is super fine and it doesn't stick to you. We could have spent days sledding down the dunes. The most spectacular part however was watching the sun set from one of the tallest dunes. As the sun draws even with the hills on the west of the valley it directly lights up the cliffs on the east side of the valley. The changing hues of sunlight combined with the natural color of the rock is one of the best light shows I've witnessed in my life.
Just in case this all sounds like a very perfect family moment, I'll share with you that we constantly had to keep the kids from whacking each other with sticks, bringing sticks in the car, deterring them from buying useless crap in gift shops, and in general protecting other tourists from them. So actually, yeah. It was a very perfect family moment. Oh, and if you go there within the next month or so you might still see our names etched very deeply into some of the hardest sand before the wind carries it away.
SANDIA TRAM
We'd already done the Sandia Tram, but we'd never done it with visitors. Right before we left we received our only out of state visitors since the second year we'd lived in New Mexico. Ahma and Aunt Joy payed us a very special and eagerly anticipated visit.
The Sandia Tram, for those of you who don't know, is the longest tram in the world. It also has the distinction of hosting a crappy, overpriced restaurant on each end. Okay, so that's debatable, but when you name a restaurant "High Finance" it kind of gives it "High Expectations," and not just for the billing portion of the experience.
We also took them to Little Anita's, our favorite New Mexican restaurant. I'd tell all you non-burquenos about New Mexican restaurants, but that really is its own separate post.
EL PASO
What's better than a city where you can wake up and look at Juarez, Mexico from your balcony every morning? Exactly. Unless your name is Katie and Bobby Bones and the Raging Idiots are playing there. Then it suddenly sounds like the perfect Valentine's Weekend retreat location.
We found arrangements for all the kids this time without having to force the issue and made it to El Paso in time for some excellent Mexican food right on the border. We even got treated to a professional Mariachi band that someone had hired to serenade a birthday party there.
Just because a restaurant hires a Mariachi does not make them professional. Professional ones are too expensive and rare to regularly play restaurants and they are awesome. For the first time in my life I could A: understand the words and B: enjoy the music. I'm pretty sure it was a singular experience.
Later that evening we were entertained by Mr. Bobby Bones. Who, as far as I can tell, is a genius for somehow leveraging his radio jock position into selling out venues for a mediocre garage band. Everybody feels good about it because he donates the profits to St. Jude's, but still. Imagine a 90's era Adam Sandler routine (but clean) blended with a Weird Al Yankovich take on things and you're most the way there. Add bad singing and you've got it.
The next morning, as we were set to pull out of El Paso we got some information from our real estate agent in Ohio. This sent us into a super-focused deep discussion on options and action plans. Eventually, Katie got tired and said she was going to take a nap. 20 minutes later I passed a sign welcoming us to ARIZONA.
For the geographically challenged, I'll point out that Arizona is not on the way between El Paso and Albuquerque. We were suddenly as far away from home as when we started, but having traveled nearly long enough to get home. For the geometrically challenged, this makes an equilateral triangle. The linguistically challenged gave up reading this paragraph at the beginning.
I have never been so far away from where I thought I was as at that moment. It was as close to an out of body experience as I've had.
HATCH, NM
Our "little" error did have one silver lining. It allowed us to drive through and eat in Hatch, NM, which was not on the original agenda. NM is known for it's green chili. They come from Hatch. If you are going to ever see anything that is quintessentially New Mexican, it is Hatch, NM. We ate at a hole in the wall diner there (actually, I think that's all they have) that served imported chili's from Oregon. Just kidding. That's a crime worthy of death anywhere in NM.
HOUSE HUNTING
Nothing kicks off pandemonium like military orders with a short time scale. Even though I'm a civilian employee, orders get generated when you move around the Air Force. Our orders to move came 3.5 weeks prior to moving, but I was traveling for work and so couldn't do anything about them until about 3 weeks prior to moving.
That meant that I was immediately on another trip, but this time to find a place to live. We tried to rig things so that Katie could come with me, but it just wasn't going to work out. We got so desperate I was starting to ask coworkers to watch my kids. That's when I realized that we were forcing the issue to level ridiculous.
So I spent a week looking at just about every single available home in the Beavercreek area. I'm surprised the realtor still talks to me.
When we set about looking for a home there were a few criteria: it had to be easily rentable, it had to be within a short commute of work, it had to be turnkey, and it had to need no foreseeable projects.
The last morning of my trip Kate sends me over to a foreclosure that had just posted that morning. I told her it wasn't turnkey. That didn't matter anymore. I told her there were a lot of immediate and long term projects. So naturally, we put an offer on it.
Since it was a foreclosure, the bank sat and collected offers for a couple of days and then gave everyone a chance to modify their offer. Well, I calculated what I though the home was worth and gave myself a generous margin for the work that I'd do on it and then sent that in assuming we'd still be looking for a house.
Well, nothing makes you feel like you've overpaid like winning a silent auction. Somehow, our offer was accepted. The other bidders must have been REALLY low-balling the bank. Apparently, I need to work on my game. We expect to close by the end of this month. Now, if only I could make that happen on the NM home... The sale, not the low-balling, of course.
WE LOSE A TON OF WEIGHT
Everybody wants to look good when they have a chance to start their social lives over right? Well, not us. Call it the stress of the move, or the side effects of eating the easiest crap lying around because you're busy as all get out, but we started packing it on. Our goal was to still be able to hug each other by the end of it.
BUT, if you include all of our possessions as part of ourselves. WE LOST A TON OF WEIGHT. We sold, donated, threw away, and forced on people all of the possessions that we could. I tracked
it. It was over 2,000 lbs. of stuff. I think I'll have another Twinkie...
THE HOUSE GETS PACKED
I don't think it really sunk in to anybody in the family that we were moving until the packers showed up to the house 4 days prior to taking off. Nothing puts it in perspective like having 75% of your stuff packed up in about 5 hours. We sent the kids to school and when they came home their stuff was gone. It gave me a lot of ideas about parenting in the future.
I'd heard stories about these packer guys. People told me they would pack your trash can with trash still in it. Someone else told me about how a cat had gotten boxed up with a bunch of clothes. When I watched them work I believed all of it.
By the way, it is awesome. Nothing beats having someone else move you. I have to say this now before all of our stuff gets delivered and we find out that most of it is lost or broken.
MOVING DAY
The moving truck came on a Friday. The plan was to have them pack up the whole house and then take off on one more NM bucklist adventure on the way out of town.
The moving truck guys were a lot more personable and a lot less quick than the packing people. If they moved at the same pace as the packers, I'm pretty sure they could of loaded the whole thing in about 6 hours. The kids were still in school for their very last day, which kept things moving pretty smoothly for the first part of it.
Once the kids got home, it quickly became obvious that they were going to slow up the moving guys even more. This is where dad skills kicked in: McDonald's followed by a relatively late movie. Katie stayed behind to supervise the end off the packing and regain some sanity.
A DEATH IN THE FAMILY
During the movie, Katie called me. Silly lady, she knew we were in a movie. Then, she kept calling. I knew something was up. Since we were in the very back row of the dollar theater watching a B-level animated flick, I risked answering the phone in the theater. Also, I had a sleeping 4 year old on my chest and when I'm tired and stressed I'm the kind of jerk that gets a little less considerate of everybody around me if it's personally convenient.
Katie was incoherent. It took several minutes to understand what she was trying to say, "Coco is dead!" she finally got out in a phrase I could comprehend. I pulled the kids from the movie. This was infinitely more disruptive than answering my phone had been. The movie had finally been able to put together a climax and the kids did not understand why we were going.
Before the engine had even began to warm the kids were all balling. To be honest, Coco had been a stupid hard dog for our family. It had taken a lot of work to get her to the point where she was bearable. But she was PART OF OUR FAMILY regardless.
The chocolate lab had originally belonged to a childhood friend of mine. He had started training her to not be gun-shy when his ex-wife left him while he was on an extended work trip. As she parted, she locked the dog in the backyard with enough food and water for a day or two. The dog was in the yard two weeks.
It's amazing that the dog had lived. Since she was still a puppy, Coco developed severe anxieties and neurosis from that experience. On top of that, my friend clung to her for companionship without continuing any of her training or obedience structuring. No one can fault him for that and it made for a hard dog.
When we took over care of Coco, I frankly didn't know how long that would last. It is a testament to my wife that she put in the time and put up the patience that dog required to become a family dog.
One of the things that Coco always had was an extremely developed sense that the entire family was about to go somewhere without her. With stuff disappearing from the house right and left and strange people walking all around her anxieties were in full swing.
Another thing we could never break her of was a fear of starving. If there was food she would do anything and everything to get it and finish it, even at her own peril. In the midst of cleaning out hearth and home, Coco had managed to snag a gallon sized bag of food and hide it somewhere without being noticed.
About 1/2 hour after the truck had left and everything was wound down, she went and found it. She suffocated trying to stick her head as far into the bag as she could to gulp down the last morsel of food. It was tragic in every sense of the word.
To make things worse, there was nothing I could even really do for her at this point with all of our stuff gone. I called animal control in case they happened to have an after hours service. Their voice message said to call the police if they were closed and you needed help.
Now in my clearer state of mind I would never have called the police. Frankly, they are not there to help you. Not only will they not help you, but they will likely complicate the situation for you. I don't have anything against police, I respect them and what they do, and I have family members who are police. But in my experience, as a law abiding middle-class American citizen you should never call the police for anything other than an obvious crime against yourself. Even then you should think about it. Out of my handful of experiences at best the interaction is neutral, but never positive.
The second I hung up with the police I realized my mistake. They weren't coming to help me, they were coming to investigate potential animal cruelty. Well, that just does wonders for the situation, doesn't it? So I wrapped Coco in her favorite blanket and set her in the garage. The police, true to their reputation, showed up and did their investigation without anything helpful to offer the situation.
ADD ONE TO THE BUCKETLIST
Our out of town plans were quickly changed up to drop the Rio Grande Gorge and add a funeral. Yes, I realize the irony that was created by re-invoking the bucket list. And now I've made sure that you realized it too.
Thankfully, we have some real fantastic friends who offered to let us bury Coco on their land. In fact, the Squires are so awesome that they had already dug the grave for me. We really miss our NM friends.
For those of you who don't know the broader Erickson clan, funerals tend to be something of a party. We're all such kooky people that you simply can't put a bunch of us in a room with one of our dead relatives and not have every crazy story you've ever heard repeated. It ends up being a laughing-out-loud while we're crying type of affair.
In that fashion we buried Coco. Telling the funniest stories we could think of about her - and there are a lot. Andrew will never be able to poop outside again because of that dog. Just ask him about it.
Then we set off 20 year old fireworks. I'd found them while we were throwing out the garage. With my inherent pyro-mania it's amazing they lasted a day much less years. Coco would have hated it. That's why I did it. After all the things she did that I hated, I pretty much felt justified in that. It somehow brought closure to it for me.
HELL IS AMARILLO
Well, maybe not, but they both have two "L's." I've never liked the place after having driven through once before on my way to college. This time didn't improve my impression of it. But that's where we were able to make it to the first night. Because of the unexpected death we were suddenly driving across the country by the seat of our pants with no foreordained stops, rests, or lodging.
It actually worked out incredibly well. So well that I would never chance it again.
KANSAS CITY
Amazingly enough, the edge of the great plains is actually in New Mexico. This means that there's actually nothing of interest to see until you start approaching the mid region of the country. We booked it as far as we could the second day of travel and made water in Kansas City.
The hotel was right across the street from the dual stadium parks for the Royals and the Chiefs. And it was empty. In the midst of this trip, we inadvertently discovered the awesomeness of being winter road warriors. For the rest of the trip everything we did and saw was catered solely to us. It was awesome. We might not go on a summer family vacation from here on out.
All of our family moments will be pictures of winter. We'll have the run of everywhere we go.
LIBERTY JAIL and INDEPENDENCE, MO
For those who don't know, we belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. In more colloquial (and shorter) language, we're Mormons. This gives us the unique distinction of having most of our church history in the US.
Everybody knows the Mormons are in Utah. You should also know that they got there because they were harassed and accosted across most of the existing US to the point where they decided to become the pioneers and strike out for unincorporated territory. It's a sad and inspiring story with lots of personal accounts preserved from journals if that sort of history interests you.
This move gave us the opportunity to retrace a lot of the movement in reverse. I'll spare recounting Church history here, but Liberty and Independence, MO are two of the sites of interest that we were able to visit.
NAUVOO, IL
After hitting up some history in MO, we made it into Nauvoo, IL the following day. A surprisingly large number of the original brick structures are still there and much of the original town as it was in the 1800's has been restored or preserved.
We saw lots of really cool demonstrations about how people drained the land, lived there, and how to make stuff from raw materials. We also saw the home and shop of Jonathan Browning - the originator of the Browning gun legacy. That's right, just about every modern firearm is thanks to a Mormon.
The kids were particularly excited about getting their own Prairie Diamond and a brick made out of the IL clay. Nauvoo is the last Mormon settlement before the Saints went west to the Salt Lake Valley and it is the final resting place of the Prophet Joseph Smith.
HANNIBAL, MO
Katie was a little afraid of the place because it shares a name with Hannibal Lecter. I think pretending I was going to eat her only made it worse. I guess some things just aren't funny to everybody.
We figured we would slip in some US history on the drive across and visited the boyhood home of Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens for you educated folk.) We also went through the Hannibal Cave - a prominent features of his most beloved stories.
The best part about Hannibal is that our network offered zero cell signal there. It also has a perceived feeling in the air that essentially amounts to an IQ drop. It's hard not to meet people there and automatically assign them a 50 point intelligence handicap. All of this combined with Katie's exhaustion to make her feel like she was in the middle of nowhere without the normal services of civilization. Also, she was a little cranky.
AND she really wanted Dairy Queen. All I heard about for around 1/2 hour was how we'd be okay if we'd stopped in Quincy. Finally, I pulled up a DQ down the road on my maps. Peaceful feelings ensued for the night.
Sometimes I worry that my spouse will read these stories and consider filing for divorce. But she would be wise to heed my warning about dealing with legal authorities, and I imagine she also knows how good she has it. ;) Right honey? Honey..?
MONTICELLO, IL
From there we made it to Monticello, IL. Not because that sounded like a good idea. Well, I guess it did sound like a good idea when you factor in the snow storm. We pulled off the road in Decatur (di-ˈkā-tər) but couldn't find a hotel that took pets. The Best Western in Monticello sounded perfect and was the next closest hotel. It had a pool and it took pets.
Except that in a snow storm it almost had a good setting for Norman Bates. The elevator had no lights, the pool was closed, and half the hotel looked like it was under renovations that weren't going to happen any time soon. On the flip side, I met an awesome teenager at the Pizza Hut there who was sarcastic and witty and new about bands from the 80's and 70's. He totally restored my faith in today's youth. You know, the people who would not be voting for Trump if they could vote. Maybe we should lower the voting age...
OHIO
The next day we made it to Ohio. This would have been a good thing if Katie and I had communicated with each other about where in Ohio we were going. I thought we would be going to where we would be sleeping that night. It made sense. Katie thought we would go to the house we were buying.
This turned out to be a good idea until she started thinking that maybe she didn't want to buy that house. Luckily, by the time we left she wanted to buy it again. Let's hope it stays that way at this point.
We went out to a Mexican restaurant and to Walmart to buy air mattresses and to bed. All in all, life seemed pretty good again.
FIRST DAY OF WORK
Until my first day of work. Which was the next day. Which was when the food poisoning from the Mexican restaurant kicked in. Luckily, when you start a new job at a new Air Force Base you have a long checklist of things that you have to go around doing on your own. This affords you the convenience of spending as much time in the bathroom as you want to. That's all I'm going to say about that.
LIFE GOES ON
So, now we're here. We're more or less settling into a routine. The kids are in school, our stuff is in storage, and our home is set to close. I now commit to updating this blog at least once weekly. We have an Ohio bucket list and a lot of hopes and dreams so the stories should be good. I promise to keep them all much shorter than this. Over and out. Or whatever you say to end a post. It's awkward to end something that is obviously intended to continue later. Right?
Thursday, November 5, 2015
The adventures of Dad in England
Alright! I know it's been a couple of days since I got here, but this is the first chance I've had to sit down and put up some pictures. I've enjoyed very stereotypical English weather since I've been here: foggy. Actually, it cleared up... and rained today :). When I landed the fog was so bad it caused massive flight delays and problems. Somehow my flight escaped and we actually came in on time. These shots are as bright as it has been the whole time.
The start of the range tour was funny because we were advised not to "cuddle" anything and then asked if any of us had brought any animals... specifically hamsters. No one with a weakened immune system or pregnancy was allowed on the range and we were advised to wash our hands immediately upon returning. We thought it was standard safety procedure until we noticed the driver washing the steering wheel about every 5 minutes. Needless to say we scrubbed up on returning...
The rest of the site was built up over time and I haven't been able to take any pictures because of restrictions, but I did get one of this atom trap:
Town we have been staying in is Salisbury and it dates back to the 1200s if I remember. The central feature of the city is St. Martin's cathedral. In England a city isn't determined by how many people live there, it is determined by whether or not it has a cathedral.
The gargoyles are particularly fun, as always.
This cathedral houses one of the four copies of the 1215 Magna Carta (the earliest version). It is also in the best condition. It must be so because it looks like someone made it yesterday and then tried to make it look old. The penmanship is so incredible it's hard to believe that it was written by a human hand. I tried to read it, then couldn't. Then remembered that it's written in Latin. Tried again, and gave up. They weren't allowing pictures of it either, but if you look to the left of the lady you can see it:
For my children, the Magna Carta was the first official document stating that people had rights not granted them by a King or other leader. It came about because King John (yes, the one from Robin Hood) was taxing people incredibly heavily to pay for a losing war against France. Eventually, everyone revolted against him and the Magna Carta was the result.
From 60 ft up.
To cut the timbers it would take two men to feed it into the saw one sitting down in a pit of water and sawdust and the other above nice and dry. They were known as "doges" (pronounced dogs) - leading to the terms top dog, and underdog.
Going further up into the Cathedral. The guy on the left is my counterpart in England.
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