EARTH DATE 20160311
What strange new world is this?! I swear we've only traveled 1,400 miles on the same continent, but we must have unwittingly been sucked into a quantum singularity and traveled through a magnetic mono-pole to the worm garden of some vegetation infested land.
The weeds are everywhere here and the residents have given them up for un-tamable. Indeed, they are tall as houses and hard as rocks. The locals call them trees and refer to them admiringly. As though they were desirable.
Where the land has been cleared of these "trees" a living carpet is permitted to exist which requires constant care and trimming. They do not seem to have advanced technology enough to surround their homes with weed barrier and crushed rock.
Their fashion is also lagging. We encountered an actual library on one of our successful explorations of the surrounding area. I approached a long desk to inquire about standard protocol and was attended to by an over-sized doily. Upon closer inspection it was one of the local residents in her native garb.
Shoulder pads have apparently been reintroduced to the population, and it is not uncommon to find puffed sleeves (as though they were grain). Locals often look as though they forgot to remove the clothes hanger before donning their garb. I've found it is a mistake to bring this to anyone's attention.
We surmise that the population must exist in abject misery. Their sadness is so profound that tears constantly fall from the sky. Even when the tears are stemmed a gray mass hovers over the area. It is possibly created to shield a large population of vampires. We shall attempt to capture a specimen if one presents itself.
The entire locale is known for "buckeyes" though we've yet to see a deer. We are wary that it could be some form of surveillance system. Until we can confirm, we shall feel very vulnerable indeed.
Future reports forthcoming.
No comments:
Post a Comment