Addendum: Family Card Games

Writing more regularly on the blog means I'm going to have to become my own apologist. Why? I don't know. Because you (I) can't say things without making an omelet. No really, I need breakfast and I'm just going to have to multi-task this post.

We love playing card games in our family. So let me couch this conversation in the framework of a card game. We'll call it Magic: The Family Gathering and refer to it as MFG. And, no, that acronym does not stand for anything else you might imagine about it.

Before we get to that though, let's break down one potentially incendiary section of the previous post. If you haven't read the previous post yet, spoiler warning!

Remember when I wrote: So Katie decided to she HAD to go see her and the baby short notice with no prior plans to fly across the country. This is because [obscure statement about life choices, followed by derogatory generalization about in-laws and relatives, season it with some unnecessary whining about it affecting my life,] This is not a generally advisable plan of action. 

Let's break it down: obscure statement about life choices. Translation: we moved to Ohio. Ohio is 1500 miles farther away than NM was and we have no friends to watch our kids because we are losers. This makes it hard.

Then: derogatory generalization about in-laws and relatives. Big deal - I've done this since I've been married. They all just shake their heads and say. "Oh, Christopher..." It's a great situation for me personally. I ALWAYS keep this card in the deck I'm playing MFG with.

Finally,  unnecessary whining about it affecting my life. Be honest, this is mostly why you read this blog. 

When you put it all together out of context it sounds totally different. Word-smithing is fun!

Alright, so let's play a card game. 

Shelley has a baby - her first boy. She also posts pictures. Card: Epic, this card cannot be taken out of play. It awards 10% across the board increase to all cards of type family and +15 speed bonus to the spouse of blood relation.

Katie says, "I have to go see my sister! Can we buy a plane ticket?" Card: Family, hit-points: 20, damage: 75, speed: very fast.

Me: What? You had 9 months to plan to go out there. This isn't a surprise! Card: Logic, impact: weak. This card automatically discards itself upon being played.

Katie: But the BAAAAAAAAAABYYYYYYYYYYYY. Card: Emotion, hit-points: 50, damage: 2000, speed: irrelevant. This card forces the other player to play their next card in your favor.

Me: Let me see what my week looks like and whether or not I can take the kids. Card: Planning, hit-points: irrelevant, damage: irreversible. This card introduces the emotion card "hope" into the deck.

Katie: YOU ARE THE BEST HUSBAND EVER!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Card: Trump card. This card also has the power to spew irrelevant statements, stick its chin in the air, and then build a wall that denies entry of any other card.. Effect: game over.

I always seem to lose these card games in swift fashion.