This is the BEST life EVER!

So Ben gets to go with Grandma and Papa on a big trip to Arizona this weekend, even though he'll tell you it's to Alaska. I had to drive him up to their house tonight so that they could take off bright and early in the morning and I decided I would take him on a little Daddy date to Carl's Jr. on the way up. When I told him he reminisced about last weekend when his Grandpa took him to McDonald's for lunch. His words exactly: "Wow, McDonald's for lunch and now Carl's Jr. for dinner?! THIS IS THE BEST LIFE EVER!"

Andrew went with us and was VERY upset to leave Papa and Grandma's house to say the least. I was pulling the boat back down to Provo and he was screaming his lungs out. I thought I was going to go crazy. When he finally paused to take a breath I ventured to either exacerbate the situation or resolve it. I said, "Andrew did you see the boat behind the car?" Silence, I had his attention. "Did you know that I have Papa's boat behind our car?" He starts trying to look over his shoulder in his carseat. "Do you want to go out on Papa's boat?" "Yeeaaaaahhhhhh," he says very cautiously. "Okay, we'll go out on the boat this Saturday." "Okay." He was happy the whole rest of the ride home.

In other news, I'm old. I was talking to Katie about something the other day and I believe she was mocking me for my thinning hair. Kallie decided to join in. "You're old Dad!" Thanks Kallie. Then just to sugar coat it she added, "you're fat too." Ahhhhhh, the honesty of children...

The First Day of School and Wedding Plans

Things have been developing fast here. We went to our second back to school night in as many weeks (long story) and met the kids REAL teachers for the coming year. In Kallie's new classroom we ran into the assistant coach for Ben's soccer team and his wife from Switzerland. I couldn't figure it out but every time the Swiss lady spoke Katie would just be silent and not respond. Later I mentioned that she was from Switzerland. "That's why I couldn't understand her!" said Katie. "She was speaking ENGLISH," I responded. "Whatever, I can't understand those Mexican accents," was her retort. That exchange suddenly cleared up a lot of things I've been wondering about lately. Like why my children suddenly think I speak Mexican AND Spanish.

Anyways, as we were leaving I caught a scene that for some reason will always seem iconic of some elements of Utah Valley. Out in front of the school was a 300 lb. lady leaning her significant frame up against a "No Parking" sign while yelling, "HELAMAN! YOU DO WHAT I SAY RIGHT NOW!" Then she made some sort of hand gesture to to re-communicate the desired action. Now that's the mother of a stripling warrior if I ever saw one. I'm still wondering if there is some weight at which "No Parking" and "No Loitering" are considered the same sign...

Either way I came home early on Ben's first day of school and went over to walk him home. As I waited outside the front door of the school for Ben to pop out I caught a glimpse of a 6 year old wearing a backpack big enough to stuff his own entire body in, and another one straddling/walking an adult sized light blue Schwinn with BMX handle bars as his transportation home. All of this, of course, reaffirms the conviction that I am in fact raising my children with a slightly better sense of normalcy than some of my neighbors. Eventually Ben pops through the school door, doesn't even act surprised to see me, and breezes right by me with "Hiya!" Feeling a little miffed, I track him down over by the flag pole. "Ben, I came to walk home with you." "Oh, I bike home with my friends from school. Don't you know?" he said. Well duh. How stupid am I to waste my time walking down to spend some time with my child when he is OBVIOUSLY going to come home in the company of his friends.

In other news Kallie's best friend and, shall we say, fiance, went on a vacation with his family and it almost proved the end of their relationship. As of a couple of days ago she had reached the point where he was merely now in the running with two other fellows who, no doubt, had no idea they were even courting my daughter. Distance makes the heart to wander I guess. Either way, he returned just in the nick of time today to seal his future nuptials. One look at him and it all came back to her I guess. "Greyson is the one!" she exclaimed. I'm sure it had nothing to with the fact that he presented her with a belated birthday gift consisting of chocolate and cosmetics. Sorry Tom and Jaxon, maybe next summer vacation.

She also cemented in my mind her future ban on communications with her best friend cousin Haley. I caught them talking about their fiances today and it was very obviously a one-upsman show with how they and their beaus had verbally expressed the commitment to marriage with each other. I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS TO CONTINUE WHEN SHE IS ACTUALLY DATING.

Speaking of relationships. One night recently I had the pleasure of standing in line behind a deaf couple at the super market. I was following their "conversation" for 5 minutes before I realized that they were speaking with their hands. It turns out there are some conversations common to all married couples which transcend all language barriers. Things were starting to get more and more heated as hands and arms began flailing when suddenly it became a staring contest. I thought it was going to end in a deadlock when the Male decided to make his point final. Without ceding the staring contest he very slowly drew his finger across his throat mafioso style. I thought he'd ended it when she pulled out what must be the mother of all sign language threats. After using a sign to indicate sleep, she slowly reached out her right hand, palm up, fingers curved, and in one sudden movement she grabbed an imaginary, um, bag and forcefully yanked her arm downward. He was cowed. Slightly ashen, he was smart enough to let her have the last "word".

Okay, so I made up the end of the argument, but I imagine that's how it ended when they finished it in private.

Ben's a first grader!

I can not believe he is already in 1st grade! We went last night to back to school night where he was able to meet his teacher, see his classroom, find his desk, and most importantly where his best bud T was going to sit. He came home very excited (and very nervous) about his big day.

For the life of me I couldn't figure out how to work with the sun this morning...so forgive all the weird shadows and faces. Amy, I needed you this morning!

His super cool blue skull backpack...with matching lunch box. Yes, he picked it out himself and we only had to go shopping 3 times to find the perfect one!

Ben rode his bike today. Doesn't he look so much bigger than last year on his first day of kindergarten? The three boys going to school together

Ben showing off his recent loss. I love this no front teeth smile of his!

Watching him go to his first day of school, lunch in backpack, helmet on, friends together....and not needed mom to walk him in. Have to admit kind of a sad moment...but so very proud of him!

New Experiences

It was a fairly full week last week. The kids got to go on a sleepover with Grandma and Grandpa to the cabin while Katie and I took the activity day girls boating on Utah Lake. Since the last time I was boating on Utah Lake somebody cut their leg and got a NASTY infection I was a little nervous. But nobody got hurt or seems to have brought back any harmful bacteria yet. You can check out the pictures if you have an invite to that blog.

Anyways, later I traded out the boat for the kids and we went to do some errands on the way back home. For the first time in their little lives I took the kids to a Mexican supermarket. (Well, actually second time for Andrew but he can't count yet). Even though it's really not ALL that different in appearance you would have thought the kids had entered a magical fairy tale land. I had started heading for the butcher at the rear of the store when I noticed that Ben and Kallie had disappeared. I wish I'd had a camera to capture what I saw when I turned around. Ben was intently and almost scientifically studying some fruit he had never seen (probably quince but I don't remember now), and Kallie was shuffling her feet, eyes skyward, jaw on the ground. That's because in a lot of latino markets the ceiling is almost entirely constructed out of pinatas. She thought she had died and gone to heaven, it had never even crossed her little mind that so many pinatas could exist all together somewhere. In order to get her to move anywhere else I had to promise her that on her next birthday (she is already planning) she could have one of those pinatas.

The rest of the store captured the kids attention just as well. We bought some meat for dinner and I let the kids gawk at the chilled chicken feet and shrimp and langostinos. Just as we began walking back to the front of the store the manager asked us if we wanted to a sample of carnitas. "What's that?" asked the kids. "It's pork, and it's super tender," I told them. They acted really excited to try them, which I think excited the manager who thought he might end up selling me a couple pounds of pork on top of everything. He gave us a big ol' chunk on a napkin to share. It was excellent! Andrew and I started gobbling it up. The other kids ate their pieces and then Kallie took the lead. "Ewww!" she said. Ben looked at her and then scrunched up his face (these kids are great actors), "it's gross!" he said. The manager looked dejected. I felt bad for the guy and thanked him profusely for the meat.

While driving home Kallie said something about the pork. "Wait, what?!" I exclaimed, "you liked it?!" "Well, yeah," she responded. "But I couldn't like it RIGHT THEN, it looked funny." I couldn't believe it. "Ben, did you like it?" I ventured. "Uh huh," he said. "It was really good, but it was gray and there was no 1-A sauce in that store, so I HAD to say it was gross." (He really does call it 1-A sauce that's not a typo). I couldn't believe it. Those kids.

Later while we were eating dinner Kallie asked me if she would like salad as she got older. "Sure," I said, "people's tastes tend to change a little as they get older." "Great!" she said, "When I'm eight I'm going to get my ears pierced, and get my own library card, and I'm going to try salad!" Awwww, the magic age of eight...

Dual Use Containers and Divorce

Welcome again to our semiregular window into childrearing in our home. The kids have been crazy, and so I will share with you the stories that have most stuck out in my mind. From oldest to youngest:

BEN
We were sitting in church one Sunday listening to a woman introduce herself and her family into the ward. To put it simply the woman is a sobber: the type who can't stand in front of a microphone talking about anything without crying. Well Ben was watching her up there talking about her marriage and sobbing like that and put two and two together. "Did she just get divorced?!" he asked, his tone and face completely conveying the message of "we don't want to listen to this for 20 minutes." All I could think to say was, "No, son, she just appears to be a VERY emotional person."

KALLIE
Poor Kallie. She planned her birthday. Then she replanned it. Later she revised those plans. When she had thought about it she scrapped them and started over. She did this for 8 months. How many of those plans were realized on her actual birthday? 0. It just wasn't her year. On the flip side, she's taken to calling herself gymnastics girl.... who is apparently slightly more coordinated than Kallie is normally... She also loves to apply her own makeup, and then apply a little more, and maybe, um, a little bit more...

ANDREW
Andrew is definitely going to fall upon an idea that will make us all rich someday. In the meantime he keeps experimenting, and has successfully repurposed yogurt cups. After finishing his yogurt this morning, he suddenly had an epiphany. He presented a cup to Katie definitely not filled with yogurt. "What is that?" his mommy dared to ask. "POTTY!" replied the jubilant boy. I don't know how he figured out that doing that would save 5 gallons of water a flush, but hey, he's a bright kid!

You have to break a couple eggs to get the sweet life

A couple of weeks ago we were relaxing at Papa and Grandma's house watching people compress their spines on WipeOut while Andrew played with his two little cousins. The kids were playing quietly (a bad sign) when they suddenly started laughing like a rodeo clown had arrived to entertain them. All of the adults stared each other down daring someone to play investigator. My brother in law broke first. What he found was priceless. The 3 kids had found a 5 dozen egg pile in the fridge and started smashing them on the floor. They had gotten through a dozen when Dan came around the corner and caught all three standing with a precious egg held above their head, ready to release the potential energy created. Unfortunately, this startled one of the kids who slipped, fell, and started crying before a picture could be taken. What a missed opportunity.

Tonight we were reading scriptures when Katie pulled a surprise quiz:
Katie: What was the Savior teaching the people, kids?
Ben: How an American can have the sweet life!

I'm still snorting. (He was wrong).